Encouragement for Stepmoms (Trust)

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me... Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:1, 27 My husband and I parent very differently than his ex-wife. She has more of a free spirit style and we are more structured. This is hard to write without feeling like I'm judging or condemning. Basically sometimes T is allowed to do things that I feel may … [Read more...]

Why (Step)kids Lie and What You Can Do

I think T has been lying to us since I've known him (since he was 3 or 4). Nothing ever serious but when you are dealing with lying what is serious and what is not?? Usually it is about doing chores or homework. Saying he did when he hasn't. It's hurtful and frustrating! Why doesn't he feel like he can be honest with us? And what else is he lying about?? In my reading on the subject I found some good advice. Nothing too surprising but a great reminder. From Why Kids Lie -- Age by Age by By … [Read more...]

Rely on Him

We are going through a season right with our boy where there are things happening with him we just don't understand. He's a good boy with a kind heart and he is funny and smart. He has lived in two houses with different rules for all of his life as far as he can remember. He's struggled with telling the truth or maybe it's even knowing or believing the truth for a long time. The season we are in now seems a step beyond that. It appears that he is making choices to do what he knows is wrong, but … [Read more...]

Stewing

As I drove up to my house after work last month, all I can think is I bet T's mom forgot to drop off his baseball gear and he has a game tonight! I wasn't even home yet and I had decided her actions. So the stuff was actually on the porch. But of course instead of thinking that maybe I should not jump to conclusions anymore my mind is already jumping to another conclusion: the missing school work I'm sure he must have from the week at mom's house. I was trying so hard not to be mad when he … [Read more...]

Letting Go and Letting God

I'm taking you back a few months to the beginning of fourth quarter this past school year... We got a call that T had one or more zaps for the week, meaning he had missing assignments. (There is some history here that makes the missing assignments issue much worse than it sounds... like we've been fighting a losing battle over getting assignments done and turned in for what seems like forever and are trying to teach our almost teenager responsibility, you get the idea.) We tell his mom about the … [Read more...]

Spring Break at the “Fun” Parent’s

It's spring break and although T is gone for a week at a time every other week sometimes these school breaks are harder than school weeks for me.  Simply because I worry about what he is doing. Is he just laying around doing nothing? Is he playing video games he shouldn't play? Is he getting any attention or just being left on his own? Also, if I'm honest and that's what I'm here for, I worry he will have a better time at his other mom's house than with us. Writing this all out sounds so … [Read more...]