Encouragement for Stepmoms (Trust)

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me... Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:1, 27 My husband and I parent very differently than his ex-wife. She has more of a free spirit style and we are more structured. This is hard to write without feeling like I'm judging or condemning. Basically sometimes T is allowed to do things that I feel may … [Read more...]

Rerun Tuesday: Weary Stepmom

Last year I wrote the words below and as I re-read them I'm thinking about how they apply to being any kind of parent - step, biological it doesn't matter. If you are a mom God made you for this. There will be days when yo are touted but don't grow weary. Lean into God and remember... God has a plan and you being a stepmom is part of it. God created me for this. He made me to be a stepmom to T. To be another mom for him. I’m messing up, yes. And I always will because I am human, but I am not … [Read more...]

Encouragement for Stepmoms (Consistent)

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 You hear how important being consistent with your child is. But it's not easy, is it? It's hard to be consistent with bedtimes, eating healthily and consequences when you're running from homework to the ball field and trying to feed your kiddo at some point before shower and bed. And what if your kid only lives with you part-time? Being consistent while parenting isn't … [Read more...]

Encouragement for Stepmoms (He is Near)

 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. Acts 17:27 Being a stepmom can be a lonely place. You're a mom but you don't have the same rights as a bio mom and often your child feels conflict about loving you or having a relationship with you because it's seen as a betrayal to the bio mom. It's hard to express how that feels. Your hubby can try to understand and be empathetic but you still feel alone. Can you … [Read more...]

Rerun Tuesday: Encouragement

I wrote this post almost two years ago for the same reason I write most posts: because it's what I need to hear myself! One of our biggest worries and fears as moms/stepmoms is that we might be messing up our kids. We question our decisions and actions. I feel like as stepmoms we might second guess ourselves even more. As I wrote in the post from the past: Mamas, you are not messing up your kids. You may mess up now and again but you are not messing up your kids. You are human. You will … [Read more...]

Encouragement for Stepmoms (Marriage)

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 Marriage can be amazing but it can also be hard. Add in an ex-spouse and stepkid(s) and you get a whole other level of hard. Why is it so hard? Trying to co-parent with someone who you obviously don't see eye-to-eye with (since you are divorced!) is stressful. Trying to co-parent with someone that the love of your life has a past with is difficult. Jealousy and … [Read more...]

Encouragement for Stepmoms (Don’t Worry)

  Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22 Remember the song Don't Worry Be Happy? So much easier said than done. Especially when it comes to our kids. We worry about everything from are they brushing their teeth to are they getting peer pressure to drink or do drugs. As a stepmom we might also be worrying about what's going on at the other parents house. Is the kid doing his homework, is he watching to much tv, is … [Read more...]

Encouragement for Moms (Write 31 Days)

I'm at a kind of weird season of motherhood. Weird but good. I have a 15 year old stepson and a 5 month old baby boy. It's sort of like starting over but not. I love being a stepmom and I'm loving being a bio-mom. I didn't know I could love like this. I started this blog as a place of encouragement for stepmoms. I'm still a stepmom but I also see a need for encouragement for moms of littles because I sure do! So for the month of October I'm joining the Write 31 Days group and … [Read more...]

Rerun Tuesday: Overstepping Boundaries

From the archives: What if Stepmom is Overstepping Boundaries? Wow. Am I feeling convicted. I'm reading some child custody forums and keep seeing things like this... My ex-husband's new wife oversteps boundaries, so much so that it has impacted my ability to co-parent effectively. I'm sure husband's ex must feel at times that all I do is overstep boundaries. Sometimes M and his ex just can't "hear" each other and so I step in to "mediate." There have been times when the ex has put T n … [Read more...]

Rerun Tuesday: Independence

From the archives: Independence We are working on teaching T some independence and responsibility. He's almost 14 and it seems maybe we have done too much for him over the years. Helped him too many times. Rescued him too often. Consequences and structure are so important to all children but I tend to think even more so with children who split their time between homes. M and I try. There are so many extra dynamics when you co-parent with an ex. It's easy to blame the other parent for … [Read more...]