3 Ways to Make Communication with “The Mom” Easier

I would guess that every stepmom and her husband have had at least one frustrating communication experience with the kids' mom. I remember, years ago when we were waiting for a response from T's mom and how frustrated I was. Days went by and not a word. I've already had a fight with her going on in my head... "Don't you want to talk about this important thing?!" I had what she would say and my clever responses played out. I was mad. The more I thought about it, the madder I got and the real … [Read more...]

Can you have a friendly stepmom-biomom relationship?

As 8th graduation was nearing for T, I was pinning graduation party ideas. I thought we could even do something with his "other" family. I was picturing a big group of people who all loved T eating pizza together, being friendly and celebrating him. That's not what happened. M and I had dinner alone after the graduation. T's mom never got back to me about doing something together. We later learned that she took him out to pizza herself. We were not included and that hurt. We may have even shed … [Read more...]

God is with me

I felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest and I just couldn't even breathe. I had to walk out of the counseling session because I was about to cry or scream or do something. I don't even know. I was so angry and just did not understand why this was all happening. My husband and I were with my stepson and his biomom at a counseling session and I can't go into details - I don't want to go into details - but it was just all so wrong. I was hurt and I was angry for myself, for my … [Read more...]

Regrets

I can't remember what the situation was that made me so angry but I screamed at her in the middle of swim practice. Y'all I don't do things like that. I cannot remember why or what she did. Thankfully we weren't near anybody else. I was shaking with furry and shouted at her telling her what was on my mind. I truly don't have many regrets in life. I feel like all of my mistakes are really just opportunities that I learn from and made me who I am by making me stronger. I do have maybe one … [Read more...]

What I would tell my young stepmom self

I remember this time when I was a young stepmom being at back-to-school night. Without going into all the gory details the bottom line is I pretty much yelled at the bio-mom for her choices for my stepson's lunch. I could say that she started it and she may have but that doesn't really matter. What matters is how angry I felt. I knew I was right and she was wrong and I just couldn't understand why she couldn't see that. How come she couldn't understand that what she was choosing to feed my … [Read more...]

Forgiveness

  Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. Yet, we are called to forgive because God forgave us. It's still hard. After all, we are human and we are messed up. Being a stepmom and showing forgiveness your husband's ex is at the top of the list of hard things to do. She probably is hurting or angering your husband on a regular basis and making life difficult. You might even feel like she is selfish and not putting your stepchild first. She might make you mad and you might … [Read more...]

How to Have Less Worry and More Peace

One of my very first blog posts back in May 2013 was about spring break. It's funny how much things have changed in those few short years between then and now. I remember how worried I was then. How much I stressed about this child that I loved so much, and I still do, but had so little control over. Do you ever control your children? Biological or step? No, we really don't. But back then I worried so much for his safety - physical, emotional and spiritual. I hated that time away from us … [Read more...]

Giving Grace Even When Kids are Grumpy

Do you ever just feel grumpy? Do you forget to say please and thank you? Do you snap at the people you love? Confession: I do. Why is it then when the teenager is grumpy I get so bent out of shape about it? I don't like feeling this way. I need to ask God to change my heart. To help me give T grace. Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19 Rather than get frustrated when he is grumpy, I should listen … [Read more...]

Encouragement for Stepmoms (Thankfulness)

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever. Psalm 136:1 Whether you know it or your stepkid knows it you're one of the mosy influential people in his life. Since you're reading a blog about encouragement for stepmoms I'm going to bet that you care deeply for your stepkid. Are you thankful for him? Does he know that? Are you thankful for God's goodness and gave? Does your stepkid know that? Are you being a good model of giving thanks to God. Each night as I pray … [Read more...]

Encouragement for Stepmoms (School)

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24 All throughout elementary school we'd hear how great T was at participating and answering questions when asked but that he always needed to be reminded to get his work out or stay on task. One year his long time neighbor was purposely sat next to him in class to … [Read more...]