Three Ways to Make Back to School Less Stressful

I love back to school season. And not because the kids go back to school but I love the fresh start, autumn around the corner, school supplies and new clothes. But... it can be a little hectic. Summer never seems long enough so everyone is rushing to buy back to school outfits and supplies at the last minute. Everything on your supply list seems to be sold out. And you're not sure if you are supposed to get your stepkid a new backpack or if biomom is planning on that. Here are three ways … [Read more...]

Encouragement for Stepmoms (Trust)

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me... Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:1, 27 My husband and I parent very differently than his ex-wife. She has more of a free spirit style and we are more structured. This is hard to write without feeling like I'm judging or condemning. Basically sometimes T is allowed to do things that I feel may … [Read more...]

Independence

We are working on teaching T some independence and responsibility. He's almost 14 and it seems maybe we have done too much for him over the years. Helped him too many times. Rescued him too often. Consequences and structure are so important to all children but I tend to think even more so with children who split their time between homes. M and I try. There are so many extra dynamics when you co-parent with an ex. It's easy to blame the other parent for everything! I try to remember that we … [Read more...]

Help from Stepmom is Refused

We offer to help and even though the help we offer is the more logical way the ex says thanks but no. And usually when "we" offer to help, it's me who would be doing the actual helping. Why does she refuse our help, my help? Maybe she told T that we offered and he said he didn't want to come to his house with us (because he knows we'd ask him to study for finals). Or maybe her mom really doesn't mind driving 20 miles round trip, twice in a day, because she just wants to spend time with him. Or … [Read more...]