Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

I can’t remember what the situation was that made me so angry but I screamed at her in the middle of swim practice. Y’all I don’t do things like that. I cannot remember why or what she did. Thankfully we weren’t near anybody else. I was shaking with furry and shouted at her telling her what was on my mind.

I truly don’t have many regrets in life.

I feel like all of my mistakes are really just opportunities that I learn from and made me who I am by making me stronger.

I do have maybe one regret.

When I was a young stepmom are used to just get so angry and feel so bitter towards my stepson’s biomom. Her parenting style was completely opposite of mine and my husbands. I did not agree (and still don’t agree) with many of her parenting choices. And it often felt like she was doing things to purposely irritate me or my husband. And you know what maybe she was maybe he wasn’t it doesn’t matter.

I focussed so much energy on being angry at her and feeling like she was so wrong that I truly believe that I missed out on some things with my stepson.

There were times when honestly I would look at him and they would see her and it would make me mad. I never take that anger out on him but at underlying feeling was there. I spent a lot of time with him playing or just sitting near him. I participated in a lot of school activities and even committees and was always at his extracurricular activities. But there is just some sort of emotional connection that I feel like it’s missing and I don’t know if it’s because of how angry and bitter I often felt. Or if it was just because he’s a boy and he feels conflicted between his bio mom and stepmom. I don’t know.

But I can say that I do regret not hugging him a little bit more and wasting my energy on feeling so angry.

So if I could get one piece of advice to young stepmoms out there I would say let it go. You’re feeling angry and frustrated or even better is not helping anything it’s not productive. You can’t change anything by being angry. There’s a scripture that says something to the point of you can’t add a day to your life by worrying. There are times to be worried and times that something will come out of that worry but for the most part worrying is not going to get you anywhere. Being angry is not going to get you anywhere. So in the words of Elsa: let it go.


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