It was a rough morning


Photo by Megan Lewis on Unsplash

My shirt is covered with slobber and snot. It was a rough morning.

My day didn’t start out that way though. It started out pretty good.

Baby G was excited to leave the house – wearing his “big-boy” backpack – this morning. It was once we got to school that things took a turn.

He wanted to go through the “tunnel” in the car (this means he wants to crawl around his car seat). So, I allowed it for a few minutes. Which of course is never long enough and I should have known better.

When I took him out of the car, the screaming started.

He was trying to throw himself on the ground and I had to carry him like a little infant (a 35- pound, very strong infant) held up tight against my body to get him into the building.

Once we made it to the classroom he was still screaming.

I set him down on the floor. When the teacher came to ask what’s wrong I told her that he didn’t want to get out of the car. She was talking to him and he was screaming. I was ready to just walk away and leave him and that’s when she said: “sometimes it’s best just to walk away.” I know. I was just about to.

He followed me to put his backpack away.

I did ask him do you want to put your backpack away or do you want mommy to and he just screamed and screamed so I put away. He grabbed it back out of the cubby. I asked him once again “do you want to put it away or do you want mommy to.” He just screamed and screamed and held onto it so again I was ready to walk away. At this point the teacher said very firmly, “do you want to put it away or do you want your mommy to.” He said “I got it,” and he put it away. He was still screaming.

This is where I felt like I had a major parenting fail.

I should’ve been the one to say firmly to him “do you want to or do you want mommy to.” But I didn’t say it firmly enough and that’s what I always forget. It’s frustrating to me that I let him boss me around in this way and not just be lovingly firm with him. Instead, I just try to empathize with him (which I know is important too). I need to set those boundaries. I’m super frustrated with myself this morning that I did not do that. I feel stuck in this same mom fail over and over again.

My prayer today would be: God when you present another opportunity for me to firmly instruct my child please give me the strength to do so.

Father, help me to instruct my child in a way that’s not angry but still firm. Lord, days like this are so hard with him screaming and crying and me feeling like a failure. Please help me learn from this, move on and not let it bring me down the whole day. Thank you, Jesus


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