I just want to sleep.
Honestly having a newborn is harder than being pregnant or even labor and delivery. And our newborn is a good baby. I just can’t do this sleep for only two or three hours at a time thing. I mean I can and I will for as long as I have to but I feel like I can’t. I feel like I just need to sleep for an entire day but there is a little man who needs me.
My days consist of trying to sleep when I can, changing diapers, pumping milk, feeding the baby, repeat. Oh and trying to find some time to eat myself and maybe even spend time with my hubby. Forget housework or anything else. I’m actually writing this as I am pumping. Ultimate multitasking. I have to. And I’m just so tired.
Last night the baby did not want to go to sleep. Thankfully M was here to take over. He rocked, changed and fed until little G went to sleep. Sometimes I feel like this season will never end and then I feel guilty. I prayed for this baby. I prayed for years. Why can’t I handle it? The thing is I don’t have to “handle” anything. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Sleep will come again and my little man will only be this little for a blink. I’m going to enjoy doing things with him from changing diapers to feeding to sleeping. And god will give me strength to make it through another day on little sleep.

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