Rerun Tuesday: Dealing with a High Conflict Ex

Three Things About Dealing with a High Conflict Ex


From the archives… here are three things divorced parents need to know to deal with a high-conflict ex.

1. Communicate. No matter how wrong the other person is, no matter how mad they make you, make it work for the sake of the child. Stay in touch and communicate regularly, even if the ex doesn’t. And before you speak up, think is this going to make the ex mad and if so is it worth it? Is whatever I have to say in the best interest of my son or daughter?
2. Stop arguing. If the high-conflict ex is picking a fight, don’t join in. Ask if you can take a break from the conversation and come back to later. Maybe even write out your thoughts before the next conversation to help you stay on track. Always ask yourself is this n the best interest of my son or daughter?
3. Get it in writing. Use email to communicate. The facts only and watch your “tone” because email can be easily misinterpreted. It is also your best chance to limit room for misinterpretation. Huh? If you are trying to talk about homework for example and you verbally tell the ex about an upcoming project or missing assignment you are aware of there is always a chance of “you never told me!” Whereas if you email, the chance of that is slim to none. Make sense?
What would you add to the list?


This post is part of a new series I’m doing called “Rerun Tuesday” where I will share a post from my archives a couple of Tuesdays a month. I was inspired by Family Fusion Community for the idea. I hope you find this helpful!


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