In the realm of social interaction, there is not much else that is harder than listening to someone talk when you are pretty sure most of what they say is not true. When it is your stepchild’s parent, it makes it that much harder.
I try so hard not to judge or to read into everything she says. I lean heavily on God to help me not to judge. But (there’s always a “but,” right?) when it comes to our kids we want to protect them right? Even if they are our stepkids. I just don’t agree with the things she does and I don’t believe anything she says (based on our past interacted over the years). But (there it is again) is T truly being harmed? I guess not. I think he wants her attention and I also think she is too wrapped up in herself to really give him that. I also think she truly does love him and probably believes her own lies. But I digress. Ultimately he’s not being harmed nor is he in danger.
Sometimes her hands off approach to parenting makes it harder for M and me as T’s other parents. He’s ok though. He’s healthy, happy and is completely laid back and able to go with the flow.
Today, when I heard her saying things I didn’t like/believe, I saw two scenarios playing out… 1. I could jump in say all the things I was thinking about why she was wrong and started either a shouting match or some other kind of battle with her. Or 2. I could pray for patience and think before I said anything I would regret.
I chose number two. It totally worked! And you know what? I didn’t need to say anything. We weren’t in a situation where I need to speak up. I may have not liked everything I heard but there was nothing “wrong” with it.
Sometimes taking a breath, stepping back and taking a look at the big picture is so necessary. I struggle with that at times. Do you? How do you handle situations where you know you should bite your tongue and you struggle with not saying anything?