When T was just five years old, his mom instructed my husband and I to change the bread we were feeding him because the boy told her he didn’t like it. This was of course during the early years when I was still trying to control everything. How dare she tell me us to change our bread?! Why doesn’t she stop feeding him white bread and get on board with us and feed him nutritious whole wheat bread! Hmph!
I did not react to this well at all. My poor hubby was trying to have his own battle with her on the phone with me in the background whispering what he should say and how she was wrong. He not only had to deal with her being irate he had me making things worse.
And — I can’t believe I am going to admit this — we even ended up taking a video of him happily eating one of our wheat bread made sandwiches. Not a high point at all. To be fair, we were at the park having a picnic and were filming anyway. That, at the time, was just a bonus to be able to get “proof” that we were right!
Had this happened today, 7+ years later, I wold have been angry for a moment and then got over it. I have learned, you simply cannot change the other person. She can’t change me and I won’t change her. I believe at the time the hubby said, you shouldn’t tell us what to do in our home and don’t tell the boy not to listen to me. (Oh yeah, that was part of it… she did tell the boy that he didn’t have to eat the lunch we made him for school if he didn’t like it.) Honestly, the kind of bread we feed him doesn’t matter. I don’t agree with most of what she feeds him but I cannot change that. What I can do is model for him what I believe to be good nutrition choices and hope that he learns something.
Is there any particular issue that you struggle with in your household and/or with the “other” parent?