Real Mom

The sting of hearing your stepchild’s mom referred to as his “real mom” is like nothing else. I understand why people use that term; heck, I’ve used it myself when talking to a friend about her daughter’s mom. I immediately regretted it of course. I think we are just programmed to say it that way. All I can say is don’t let it bother you. Most people don’t mean any offense by it. And the one person who is being intentionally mean? Well, that person needs your love and understanding most of all.

Being called stepmom doesn’t bother me so much. And when my son calls me by my first name, it sounds different to my heart because it is being said by him. With that said, do I wish there was another title for us stepparents? Absolutely. Stepmother especially has such a negative connotation. Name one time a stepmother was portrayed in a positive light in fiction? Seriously, because all I can think of is Snow White’s evil stepmother, the stepmother and stepsisters of Cinderella, Rapunzel’s wicked stepmother in Tangled (wow, Disney). What if we had a different title. You know how grandmothers have all sorts of names: grandma, nana, granny, grandmamma, nonnie.

So, I’d love your ideas for a new term of endearment for stepparents. Leave your ideas in the comments below and/or tweet your response with the hashtag #NotTheEvilStepmom.



  1. […] around this time, I especially want to know that. And how could he express that when his “real mom” was standing right there? He couldn’t. He didn’t know how. He doesn’t know […]

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