3 Ways to Make Communication with “The Mom” Easier

three tips to help you make communication with "the mom" easier

I would guess that every stepmom and her husband have had at least one frustrating communication experience with the kids' mom. I remember, years ago when we were waiting for a response from T's mom and how frustrated I was. Days went by and not a word. I've already had a fight with her going on in my head... "Don't you want to talk about this important thing?!" I had what she would say and my clever responses played out. I was mad. The more I thought about it, the madder I got and the real … [Continue reading]

Can you have a friendly stepmom-biomom relationship?

Is it possible to have a friendly stepmom-biomom relationship.

As 8th graduation was nearing for T, I was pinning graduation party ideas. I thought we could even do something with his "other" family. I was picturing a big group of people who all loved T eating pizza together, being friendly and celebrating him. That's not what happened. M and I had dinner alone after the graduation. T's mom never got back to me about doing something together. We later learned that she took him out to pizza herself. We were not included and that hurt. We may have even shed … [Continue reading]

God is with me

God is with me

I felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest and I just couldn't even breathe. I had to walk out of the counseling session because I was about to cry or scream or do something. I don't even know. I was so angry and just did not understand why this was all happening. My husband and I were with my stepson and his biomom at a counseling session and I can't go into details - I don't want to go into details - but it was just all so wrong. I was hurt and I was angry for myself, for my … [Continue reading]

Regrets

Regrets

I can't remember what the situation was that made me so angry but I screamed at her in the middle of swim practice. Y'all I don't do things like that. I cannot remember why or what she did. Thankfully we weren't near anybody else. I was shaking with furry and shouted at her telling her what was on my mind. I truly don't have many regrets in life. I feel like all of my mistakes are really just opportunities that I learn from and made me who I am by making me stronger. I do have maybe one … [Continue reading]

What I would tell my young stepmom self

FOCUS ON YOUR STEPCHILD

I remember this time when I was a young stepmom being at back-to-school night. Without going into all the gory details the bottom line is I pretty much yelled at the bio-mom for her choices for my stepson's lunch. I could say that she started it and she may have but that doesn't really matter. What matters is how angry I felt. I knew I was right and she was wrong and I just couldn't understand why she couldn't see that. How come she couldn't understand that what she was choosing to feed my … [Continue reading]

It was a rough morning

BOUNDARIES

My shirt is covered with slobber and snot. It was a rough morning. My day didn't start out that way though. It started out pretty good. Baby G was excited to leave the house - wearing his "big-boy" backpack - this morning. It was once we got to school that things took a turn. He wanted to go through the "tunnel" in the car (this means he wants to crawl around his car seat). So, I allowed it for a few minutes. Which of course is never long enough and I should have known better. When I … [Continue reading]

Dear Younger Me

Dear Younger Me

  Dear Younger Me, I’m not sure where to start. This letter is not meant to shame or condemn. The mistakes you will make have made you me.   I don’t necessarily want to take away any hurt or pain because that’s how you learn. I do want to tell you, younger me, to love God and […]

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Grace

  My palms are sweaty and my knees are weak. The butterflies had taken over my belly as I got up in front of the classroom to deliver my speech. The subject was “Delta Pride” – why was I proud to live in this region. I was a wreck. My shaky hands held my notecards […]

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do.

  Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. Yet, we are called to forgive because God forgave us. It’s still hard. After all, we are human and we are messed up. Being a stepmom and showing forgiveness your husband’s ex is at the top of the list of hard things to do. She […]

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Busy

When people ask me how I am doing or what’s new or how I’ve been, my answer is almost always the same: busy.

  When people ask me how I am doing or what’s new or how I’ve been, my answer is almost always the same: busy. I’m busy trying to make everything around me go smoothly. Trying to take charge of my life and my family because I’m scared something will get messed up. I’m actually afraid […]

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